resolutions for the week: listen more. find a few swords worth enough of a fall to actually engage people in what might possibly be meaningful conversation. find something between these two things that might compel some desire to write. try to sleep. try to eat. get over how boring this post is in an effort to care more that i bothered to post than the terror that i can at times be exactly that: dull.
relevant confession:
im more comfortable having eyes bright with a weekend's stories than the monotony of the many things i simply must "do". to be honest im convinced this is not too much more than being lazy. replacing novelty with beauty is a trap. i can drive a constant type of dissatisfaction with life that forces audacity into a habit littered with laziness. like pop music possibly or reality television. content often falls victim to a trained appetite for simple stimulus.
there is an obvious place for this kind of entertainment. it can be respite, even cathartic. however it is no place to build a home, accomplish a life. wake up, dusty human. there is in fact beauty, regardless of how long you've neglected it for the sake of piles of clever jolts. there is an art to all of this that overwhelms your artful self destruction. there is a gravity to the grand effort of a day, and in it there are new jobs for the author.
maybe boring was just an excuse. likely it was never actually boring at all, a day, things that must be done. maybe be this label i've given the to simple work (tedium, monotony) was never more than the sad child of a simple cowardice, topped with all manner of excuses for an often overly indulgent young man.
*runs tongue over canines / feels a pulse*
now fucking go to sleep or you'll never make class.
We dull our senses when we excuse ourselves with platitudes of being boring. The challenge is to awaken our minds to a new awareness that prohibits simple vomit on the page for vomit's sake and instead counters this purging of the self with a construction of the self that acknowledges the beauties of who we are and how we meet the world around us.
ReplyDeleteI was already in bed.
Jessica
What is dull but a word that you give meaning to? Anything in our lives could be perceived as "boring" to someone else. I feel that its not what we do to overcome the boredom, but what we do to embrace it. What we find as dull are our faults, the things that we feel must be changed and in that sense I enjoy your post based on the simple fact that you leave it open for interpretation. So I leave you with this, what is sleep without exhaustion. What is anything at all without necessity?
ReplyDeletedifficult and novelty. unless that was rhetorical and i didn't follow correctly.
ReplyDeletealso... i want that hat.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love this and couldn't agree more. The conclusions you've almost come to, I beleive hit the bull's eye. I've pondered these same issues, as I own the same problems. Recently, I've finally come across the thought that maybe it isn't just laziness I suffer from, but that maybe it is indeed cowardice. However, I haven't yet conqeured the outlook of daily tedium. These glasses I wear are fogged with confusion, maybe, but probably not with actual boredom. Maybe you should get a new prescription ;) lol
ReplyDeletethanks for the reply chloe:) and your prolly right, i need larger frames terribly... :D
ReplyDelete